Kisses on the Cheek

In remembering Hadley, I also want to remember how God lead us through the 7 weeks of her life and the weeks to follow.  It feels important to me to share those with you.   To explain to you how God has never left our side.  If Hadley's whole life was meant so that we could share our faith with others, then that is what I want to do.

Many people might be asking, "Why did God let Hadley die when so many people were praying for her?"  Many people might be asking, "How can you still love a God that would let your baby die?"   If you are wondering that, I want to tell you that God and remind myself that God DID answer the prayers of all of those who were praying.  God doesn't always answer "yes."  His will is not always our will.  We wish it was but we only see here and now.  God sees eternity.  His plan is perfect and Hadley's heart is perfect now.

I hope that I can share with you all the ways that God has showed us he is here and loves us.  Someone called these things that we have experienced "little kisses on the cheek from God."  I like that sound of that.

I must also be honest and tell you that another reason I want to remember and document all of our "kisses on the cheek" are because I don't want to forget them.  I want to read them on the really bad days when I don't know if I want to get out of bed when it seems like I won't have a day without tears.  I want to remember them years from now.

#1 Kiss on the Cheek:
My mom came to stay with us after Hadley was born.  I didn't really feel like I needed help.  This was my forth child.  I was a "pro" at handling things and the big kids would be in school during the day so I really didn't need help.  Mom came anyway and that was just the beginning of God providing for us before we knew we needed it. 

My mom was with me when the pediatrician heard her heart murmur.  My mom was at our house waiting the day that Brent and I found out Hadley had Double Outlet Right Ventricle and would need open heart surgery.  Brent had to return to work after our appointment that day.  I was so thankful that I wasn't driving home to be alone.  My mom was here.

This is the day she was diagnosed.  This outfit was the first outfit I bought her when I found out I was having a girl.  I never dressed her in it again.  I got it out of her dresser a few times but couldn't ever put it on her again.